DAM it's been a while. I really suck at this whole consistency thing, but I'm back and motivated to write!
I feel like I kind of got side tracked for a couple posts. Don't get me wrong, the stuff I wrote about was important and has certainly helped me, but it strayed from the topic of conversation.
This last week has been great for me. I had some time off to enjoy the greatest weekend of the year - the D1 NCAA National Wrestling Tournament. From noon on Thursday to midnight on Saturday it was non stop wrestling - Bedlam if you will. Over the weekend I had some great times with friends I haven't seen in a long time. Catching up is such a joy now. I try not to focus on getting my point across and making sure what I have to say. I simply sit back and enjoy watching others enjoy our conversation.
So anywayysssss. This week I did what I always do when I get bored at work - scour amazon.com and buy shit. Only this time I didn't buy useless shit that I will never use - OK the 250 incense variety pack might have been a little excessive, but who cares???
I learned there is a great amount of literature on the subject of conversations, but more specifically charisma. This word has certainly sparked my interest. While conversation is really just the act, charisma is more of the lifestyle.
You develop charisma, you have charisma, you are charisma.
OK so I'm still not entirely sure on what it means to have charisma, but I quickly realized that it brings more useful Google searches than "Art of Conversation".
I want to get back on track here and talk more about the science of conversation, but also bring in the science of charisma. After reading a couple things I have developed a list of books I want to read and people I would like to research.
Bill Clinton - Apparently, this dude was the man. He knew how to command a room, really control an audience. Not really sure why he had to screw it up by getting head from some fat intern, but I don't care about his politic. I'm interested in his personality. What drew people to him, and further more, what did he do to keep their interest.
The Clinton Factor - So I don't know if this guy was so obsessed with Clinton that he broke down his every action into easy to follow steps, but that's what this book is. It's pretty much a how-to book on bill Clinton's personality and public speaking abilities - down to the last body language movement. Very excited to start reading this.
Marilyn Monroe - This chick was the cat's meow. Everyone wanted a piece of her, hell people still have posters of her in their college dorms. The cool part was that she could turn it on and off. It was a conciousable (not sure if that's a word) skill that she had. I see here name pop up every now and then in books and articles I've read so I'm interested to learn more about her,.
The Charisma Myth - Like the Clinton Factor, this breaks down the science and art of charisma, but on a more general level. Not sure about the details, but it came highly recommended from my trusted sources on amazon lol.
And of course, I'm still reading "How to Win Friends and Influence Others". Dam that book is good, but they tell you to read each chapter twice, taking notes the second time - it takes sooooo long. But I'm almost done, and I'll start posting about those chapters soon as well.
So let's get back into it. I took a little break, but get ready for some posts! (that is, if I don't get lazy and just stop)
Oh, and happy birthday dad!!
Charisma: A special charm or appeal that causes people to feel attracted and excited by someone.
ReplyDeleteIts cool to see some people and sit there and be like wow they are awesome and they know it. Its like an art, a skill that you just cant fake but all you need to start being like them is confidence
Interesting how you brought up confidence. To really excel at something you have to have total belief in your capabilities. Confidence is key in getting started, and more things come into play down the road. I can't say for sure, but I think behind every charismatic and charming person, there lies two traits. They must have a genuine interest in other people. Like you said, this stuff cannot be fake, people see right through that. And secondly, there are millions of calculated and educated moves. I don't think that simply believing your extremely interesting will suddenly make you really interesting (though it will probably help). I think the interactions these people have play out like a chess match. They think 5 moves in advance and take each step with the utmost care and grace.
DeletePeople on amazon are idiots. The Charisma Myth was a shitty book.
ReplyDeleteThere is a difference between charisma and charm. Clinton had both, heavy on the charm. Putin has charisma but no charm. Most leaders have charisma but few have charm; charm is the quality to be inspired by and learn from.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting way of putting it, I never thought about it like that before. My first thought is to say that charisma is the skill of influence, while charm is the skill if inspiration. The way you described it makes it sound like charisma is kind of the evil twin to charm. With charisma, you trick people into your way of thinking, and charm you influence them to want to take your side. Did I get that right?
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